Godric hospital diaries

This is the first time ill be writing about my sons condition

We've been in and out of the hospital too many times that i have lost count, he's 6

yrs old now so if we consider being admitted twice in a year that'll be 12x times now.

Let me give you a brief summary.. ill do this on a bulleted form...

● born premature at 32 weeks
● stayed at the nicu in an incubator for the first 3 weeks of his life and 1 week in nursery.
● I was once advised by a doctor that the best thing we can do is talk to him and pray to God.
● diagnosed with PDA and was operated 2 mos before his 2nd birthday
● several confinement, doctor visits and lab tests
● Sept 2016 was diagnosed that he has acute myocarditis after 8 days in the hospital he was released and was advice against all physical activity
● Jan 2017 was diagnosed with rheumatic heart and was admitted for almost 2 weeks.
● Every 21 days he gets shots of penicillin

And today we are now back again in the hospital.

Currently diagnosed with acute myocarditis.

As a working mom, I know that I work because thats the only way we can afford all of his hospital bills. However, being away from him feels like cheating.

He hates injection! Who doesn't? Right. But he hates it so much that it breaks my heart whenever the nurses and doctors has to restrain him and as he calls my name, feels like the world crushing me down... asking me to stop them. Asking me why do he have to go through this too many times. Telling everyone that he hates them. And recently the most painful words "patay ako, patay ako"

I almost broke down, it felt that my son is already giving up and who am I to ask him to keep fighting when he's already tired..

After he has settled back in our room and he started to calm down, with all my strength I did my best to bring myself together and as we talk he sounds ok... I know that he is only 6 and might be just saying those words earlier out of his fear of needles but I cant hide the fact that for a little kid he has gone through so much in his 6 yrs and I know his pain, and if I can just take all of it I will do in a heartbeat...

Am I selfish to continue on asking him to fight. To encourage him to be strong. To tell him that he is doing a good job. That he should get better soon so that we can all go home

Maybe

No

I am selfish.

I love him. He is my life. I need him.

Bataan's Budget Friendly Resort

If you're looking for a quick getaway from the busy city life then travel to morong bataan! 

I cant count the number of times we've been here... 

Waterfront beach resort

The place is easy to find and can be search in waze. You can either take Sctex route or through san fernando if you like to sight see or have more stop over options. 😁

Its budget friendly as a room good for 4 will only cost you 2,000 php, 1 double deck and 1 double bed, airconditioned. No TV but the resort has a big projector that plays movies and concerts at night. Resort amenities include a swimming pool, bar, restaurant, pool table and a multipurpose hall. You can use the cottages for free.

Its may not be luxurious but the place is laid back and the staff is amazing... You dont need tl hit the bank to enjoy a nice break.

For big groups they have dormitories available.

 

To my Bestfriend: my maid of honor speech

Kambal, I'm sorry for screwing up my speech on your special day... I am not good at public speaking specially when it involves emotions such as crying like a baby...Here's my supposedly speech before my mind went blank when you started to well up...

"Hello everyone, Im Nhel.. the brides maid of honor...

First, Congratulations to the newlywed!!

I have known Jessica for more than 15 years now... I remember the first time we saw each other... Pumasok si jess at tricia sa room namin, they were both new students so nun ngkatinginan kami imbes na mag-ngitian well bilang mgkaugali ayun ngtarayan kami. Tinginan mula ulo hanggang paa.. bitch move lang. Hahaha... pero eto kami naun, sino magaakala na magiging best friend ko yun mataray na chinitang new student.

Dami na naming napagdaanan magkaibigan mula sa panahon ng mga ups and down. from Hs to College, kahit naun parehas na kami may anak andyan parin siya... sa panahon na wala ako kakampi at pakiramdam ko tinalikuran na ako ng mundo pero si Jessica never niya ako iniwan at ako parin ang pinaniniwalaan niya kahit pa binabaliktad na ako ng lahat.. ganyan kasi siya.. sobrang loyal at magmahal... Kaya david alagaan mo ang kaibigan ko, panigurado kung gaano siya kaloyal sa akin ganun din siya sayo at sa magiging family niyo. Matapang, mabait, maalahanin, masayahin at wagas magmahal yan si Jess...sabi ko nga sayo lahat kami makakaaway mo kapag pinaiyak mo yan at di yan madaling paiyakin... Kakalimutan talaga kita kahit pa may bromance kayo ni xtian... hahahaha... pero honestly im so happy for the two of you... happy to see my kambal finally meet the man that will love, take care of her and make her the queen of his life...

David your Xtian's best friend.. and i couldnt be happier to see my 2 best friends be in love, marry and now may twins pang padating... Trust and communication are a few of the keys to a successful marriage at kanya kanyang kumot promise. Pagluto mo lagi ng masarap na pagkain kasi gustong gusto niyan inaalagaan siya at pinapakain ng masarap. Surrender mo lagi ang wallet mo at kung paano mo siya sinusuyo nun nguumpisa palang kayo dapat lagi mo parin gawin yun, hindi dahil nagpakasal na kayo magiging kampate ka nalang it takes a lot of work and effort pero at the end its all going to be worth it.. appreciate all the small things and lagi niyo patawanin ang isat isa.. give each other your own self time kasi need niyo yun, di sa lahat ng oras need mgkasama..  Grow together and at the end of the day kiss each other goodnight kahit tulog na un isa.. .. above all things make God the center of your life..Congratulations sa marriage and sa dalawang parating we are really excited to meet them... i love you....

Bicol Series: Orok Cold Spring Resort - Casiguran, Sorsogon

It was summer of 2014 when my family went home to my partners hometown... It was a simple vacation from the busy city life and a chance to meet my partners family too. On one of our visit we went to Orok Cold Spring Resort in Casiguran, its a 45 minutes drive from Sorsogon City.

Here we had a good relaxing afternoon in the coldest water spring I've ever been. One of the cleanest fresh and crystal water in the Philippines. The water flows from Bulusan Mountain through the mountains untouched forest making the water green and If you haven't checked yet It's one of the mountains I'd love to climb in the near future.

This is my bestfriend Jessica.

OROK spring is located at Barangay Inlagadian, Casiguran, Sorsogon, with an elevation of about 240 meters above sea level, an estimated output of 345 liters per second, is the clearest natural flowing stream in this part of Bicol Region

• Entrance fee for adult is P20.00 & only P15.00 for kids below 12yrs old. Day cottages may be rented starting at P100.00.

 Remember:

• Orok is still underdevelop so don't forget to bring extra clothes, towel, clothes, food and drink when you visit.
• It's best to bring someone familiar to the area as there are tricky forks on the area.
• Grilling station is available so you can bring pork, chicken and fish for barbecue!!

 Best to visit the place during the day as the Sun's heat can help with the cold water.  More so once you're there RELAX!

One of the secrets of this place is a hidden falls that takes around 15-30 minutes trek from Orok. 

Next blog will be all about the magestic and enchanting Nagsipit Waterfalls.

How I Cope Up with Break-up

I remember the feeling of falling in love...

When you feel the butterflies and the sleepless nights just because reality became much better than your dreams.The sudden smile when you remember that person. 

Love can never be explained perfectly by our words, Its the greatest feeling there is however the most dangerous as well. The power of love can hurt even the strongest persons. even the best of us.

I've had my fair share of heartbreaks in the past 

I know the feeling.

How can one day change everything. When you've gotten accustom to talking, going out and being with him and suddenly you can no longer do the things you used to do. When you've learned to love not just this person but everyone else around him. When you've open yourself and sacrifice a lot to make the relationship last then suddenly your efforts are forgotten. The feeling of what did I do wrong? where did I made a mistake on? Is it me? What's wrong with me? am I not beautiful, nice? 

When we fall in love, our whole world suddenly revolves around that person - may not be entirely around that person but everything we do involves our other halves in a way. And when that relationship ends, that is when we feel our world suddenly crashing before our eyes and every plans and hopes disappear. All that is left is you in a black empty space.

What do you do??

Me?

I cry!

I cry my heart out. I let all bottled feelings out. I cry like a kid. Cry like there's no tomorrow. I cry until my eyes hurt, my nose sore, and until I can no longer breath. I cry it all out. 

This is an important stage, because keeping a strong front and bottling feelings inside are a bad mixed. It can just blow up in your face when you can no longer contain it. Letting yourself feel the hurt makes you human. Letting yourself feel the pain is good, this will help reality to sink in. This will let you feel all the emotions that everyone feels during break ups. Don't forget to talk, Tell the air what's going on in that head. It doesn't need to make sense but rather just putting everything out in the open is good. 

They say that whenever you have a problem to talk it out with a friend, It the same after a break up. When you keep it to yourself what you are doing is killing yourself from the inside. Think of the emotions you hide as little bugs that if not removed from your system will eat you up until there's nothing left of you. 

However a point of advise. Please do not cry like a sad pathetic kid in front of that person. You can do this in private or with a trusted friend that can listen to all your rants. As much as possible I try my best not to shed a tear in front of the person, I don't want to give him the satisfaction nor the feeling that he has me on the neck. 

Sinaktan ka magmumukha ka pa tanga, Sinaktan ka na nga gusto mo pa un magmukha ka kawawa. 

In front of my ex - I will always show a strong front bec. I want him to know that my life will go on without him. That I will be fine. That he might have broken my heart but I can fix the pieces back and that my life will be so much better after this.

Some people can be really idiots. They would like to hold on to you so that they will always have a fall back. Someone that they can go back to after they play around. I don't want to be their safety net. 

Anyways going back so when you feel like crying your heart out after a break up do not hold it in. Find a safe place where you can be yourself and cry. cry. cry.

Next

Give yourself a reality check. How long would you like to cry and be miserable? 

Me?

I set a goal. 

My goal is always to move on. FIRSTLY acceptance. Learn to accept what has happen and let go. 

The crying stage or the mourning period should be kept at the shortest duration possible. That way you can start the next process the sooner the better. I normally give myself a good 3 days wherein most of the time I just cry but I remind myself that after 3 days I will no longer cry or at least stop myself from crying whenever I am reminded of the past of course there's the occasional break downs or outbreaks but should be a lot lesser now

This stage is crucial because this is when you decide to either hold on or move on...  

For me, well its my opinion 

Holding on is just prolonging what is inevitable. I recommend to choose moving on. 

Why? 

Should the two of you really be meant for each other regardless whether you hold on or move on. Fate will bring you back to each others arms. 

But should it be that fate chooses a different path for you moving on early means you start to build on what was broken. You start to realize your mistake and learn from them. You get to love yourself. Grow up. Be better. 

Love that is unexpected is always better than hoping for something that you can never be sure of. You fought the fight and lost now is your time to recover and rise above it.

Moving on doesnt mean you look for a new person but its about you coming into terms with the reality and working into making a better for the future. Be selfish and picture the life you want for yourself. Focus on YOU. Love yourself and reward yourself for fighting a good fight.

Its the time you get to appreciate the little things in life and the people that are always there for you... 

If you hold on or not move on your putting your life on hold. Like when you pause a movie you will never know how it ends until you hit on play . You hold yourself from the chance of living this life. Time is valuable! No need to waste more time to a lost love, you've already given that relationship much of your time... That is more than enough. 

Use your time to find self fulfillment. Time to grow. Time for the people that really matters. 

Do not forget to love yourself...

Well thats my cent into this topic. This may not work for you but It works for me and i hope that it may help someone to also start living the life you deserve. 

Ps. Its not going to be easy... It will hurt but the more you pursuade yourself into moving on the heart will soon heal...

You dont forget but it just becomes bearable in time...

Love yourself and make yourself whole again so that once the next person comes your heart and mind can love again...

Yes next person bec there is no guarantee that the next person is the right one.

Playground of the Gods

I consider myself really lucky to be able to climb the 2nd highest peak in the Philippines. Mt. Pulag.

I'll write more of this story soon!!

PINK SAND BEACH!

Would you like to know where this untouched, unspoiled, clear water and PINK sand beach is?