Sunday 8 November 2015

How I Cope Up with Break-up

I remember the feeling of falling in love...

When you feel the butterflies and the sleepless nights just because reality became much better than your dreams.The sudden smile when you remember that person. 

Love can never be explained perfectly by our words, Its the greatest feeling there is however the most dangerous as well. The power of love can hurt even the strongest persons. even the best of us.

I've had my fair share of heartbreaks in the past 

I know the feeling.

How can one day change everything. When you've gotten accustom to talking, going out and being with him and suddenly you can no longer do the things you used to do. When you've learned to love not just this person but everyone else around him. When you've open yourself and sacrifice a lot to make the relationship last then suddenly your efforts are forgotten. The feeling of what did I do wrong? where did I made a mistake on? Is it me? What's wrong with me? am I not beautiful, nice? 

When we fall in love, our whole world suddenly revolves around that person - may not be entirely around that person but everything we do involves our other halves in a way. And when that relationship ends, that is when we feel our world suddenly crashing before our eyes and every plans and hopes disappear. All that is left is you in a black empty space.

What do you do??

Me?

I cry!

I cry my heart out. I let all bottled feelings out. I cry like a kid. Cry like there's no tomorrow. I cry until my eyes hurt, my nose sore, and until I can no longer breath. I cry it all out. 

This is an important stage, because keeping a strong front and bottling feelings inside are a bad mixed. It can just blow up in your face when you can no longer contain it. Letting yourself feel the hurt makes you human. Letting yourself feel the pain is good, this will help reality to sink in. This will let you feel all the emotions that everyone feels during break ups. Don't forget to talk, Tell the air what's going on in that head. It doesn't need to make sense but rather just putting everything out in the open is good. 

They say that whenever you have a problem to talk it out with a friend, It the same after a break up. When you keep it to yourself what you are doing is killing yourself from the inside. Think of the emotions you hide as little bugs that if not removed from your system will eat you up until there's nothing left of you. 

However a point of advise. Please do not cry like a sad pathetic kid in front of that person. You can do this in private or with a trusted friend that can listen to all your rants. As much as possible I try my best not to shed a tear in front of the person, I don't want to give him the satisfaction nor the feeling that he has me on the neck. 

Sinaktan ka magmumukha ka pa tanga, Sinaktan ka na nga gusto mo pa un magmukha ka kawawa. 

In front of my ex - I will always show a strong front bec. I want him to know that my life will go on without him. That I will be fine. That he might have broken my heart but I can fix the pieces back and that my life will be so much better after this.

Some people can be really idiots. They would like to hold on to you so that they will always have a fall back. Someone that they can go back to after they play around. I don't want to be their safety net. 

Anyways going back so when you feel like crying your heart out after a break up do not hold it in. Find a safe place where you can be yourself and cry. cry. cry.

Next

Give yourself a reality check. How long would you like to cry and be miserable? 

Me?

I set a goal. 

My goal is always to move on. FIRSTLY acceptance. Learn to accept what has happen and let go. 

The crying stage or the mourning period should be kept at the shortest duration possible. That way you can start the next process the sooner the better. I normally give myself a good 3 days wherein most of the time I just cry but I remind myself that after 3 days I will no longer cry or at least stop myself from crying whenever I am reminded of the past of course there's the occasional break downs or outbreaks but should be a lot lesser now

This stage is crucial because this is when you decide to either hold on or move on...  

For me, well its my opinion 

Holding on is just prolonging what is inevitable. I recommend to choose moving on. 

Why? 

Should the two of you really be meant for each other regardless whether you hold on or move on. Fate will bring you back to each others arms. 

But should it be that fate chooses a different path for you moving on early means you start to build on what was broken. You start to realize your mistake and learn from them. You get to love yourself. Grow up. Be better. 

Love that is unexpected is always better than hoping for something that you can never be sure of. You fought the fight and lost now is your time to recover and rise above it.

Moving on doesnt mean you look for a new person but its about you coming into terms with the reality and working into making a better for the future. Be selfish and picture the life you want for yourself. Focus on YOU. Love yourself and reward yourself for fighting a good fight.

Its the time you get to appreciate the little things in life and the people that are always there for you... 

If you hold on or not move on your putting your life on hold. Like when you pause a movie you will never know how it ends until you hit on play . You hold yourself from the chance of living this life. Time is valuable! No need to waste more time to a lost love, you've already given that relationship much of your time... That is more than enough. 

Use your time to find self fulfillment. Time to grow. Time for the people that really matters. 

Do not forget to love yourself...

Well thats my cent into this topic. This may not work for you but It works for me and i hope that it may help someone to also start living the life you deserve. 



Ps. Its not going to be easy... It will hurt but the more you pursuade yourself into moving on the heart will soon heal...

You dont forget but it just becomes bearable in time...

Love yourself and make yourself whole again so that once the next person comes your heart and mind can love again...

Yes next person bec there is no guarantee that the next person is the right one.







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